The truth we both knew
by Phoebsfan
Summary: What is going on in Scully's head at the end of season 8 finale


This is rambling

This is rambling.Pure rambling.I also have to add I don't own any of the characters duh.But if someone wants to give me those rights for a late birthday present I wouldn't be against it.This takes place at the very end of the season 8 finale as in during what are now the credits.

All I can say is wow.For the first time I have no big words, no extensive vocabulary from which to pick my words carefully.Its as if space and time and everything in my head has disappeared.I don't know why I responded the way that I did, well that's not true a part of me says, I know exactly why.I wonder how long that part of me has existed.William lets out a cry in his arms, no that's not quite right either, _our_ arms, for I find that sometime during the magical moment I have grasped at his arms.I wonder if maybe that part of myself that knew why I responded to him the way I did…maybe that part temporarily took control.William lets out another cry and I notice that I have been staring at him.His eyes liquid, seem to mirror what that part of me was whispering then shouting.He has been staring at me too as if he was a little surprised.His words…_what we both knew_…how then was he surprised.Was it the intensity of the moment?Try as I might I can't deny that I wanted to kiss him back, at least that part of me did, I think.I also can't deny that that moment, that place where time disappeared, it was incredible.The electric current still pulsed through her.I remember once his excitement over losing nine minutes; it was the first case we worked on together.I wonder if he lost time a moment ago too.I could ask him, that was the simplest solution.I could sit him down and go over every feeling and thought scientifically, rationally, logically.There had to be an explanation.But even as I thought it I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do.I'd been through too much to think that this could be categorized or easily referenced.This, this moment, it still blows me away.I can't think about anything important, I can't think about anything.He's smiling at me now, it sends another wave through me and I think I smile back.Oh…he's coming in for another kiss. I can't. Doesn't he know that the last one left me breathless?Doesn't he know what kind of torture he is inflicting upon me?If he kisses me again things will be ruined.Doesn't he…_you know you want to _… that treacherous part of me tries to take control again.As he moves closer all I can think about is how good the last one felt, how right, how perfect.No…I'm not going to drift off and lose it.Periodic table…first there's hydrogen next there is…his lips tenderly brushing mine, they are much softer then I imagined them to be,much much more.What do you mean I imagined them to be I never did any such thing…Ok now hydrogen…um…number of electrons…well this is definitely more interesting then electrons…hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydro-.His tongue was pleading with me.Must be strong…hydrogen, hydrogen, hydro-.Oh screw hydrogen, who needs it anyway.Maybe two kisses wouldn't be so bad.His tongue found it's way in instantly.Electricity coursed through us.I want him closer.I'm aware of nothing else.Breathing is a nuisance doesn't my body realize all I need is him.He teases my lower lip and I feel as if I've gone to heaven.It's been so long since someone kissed me like this, no, no one has ever kissed me like this.Then suddenly he's gone.I moan at his absence.Wait a second moan what is going on with me.He lets out a chuckle and I open my eyes his are smiling back at me.William is crying, how long has that been going on?He tries to pull my son, no our son, even if Mulder wasn't the father… It's then I realize that he can't move his arms because mine are still tangled with them.Sheepishly I pull mine away and watch as he tries to soothe his son.I use the moment to try and collect myself.I know what has happened has changed things.But looking back I realize that had he not been taken for so long we would have reached this moment sooner.I wouldn't have been as ready-was ready the right word-what do you mean I was ready, ready for what?My mind flashes on the last night we had together before he was abducted.He'd held me in his arms.Even then I could feel the love melting in to me.Love.There I said it. That damn part of me laughed at myself.It taunted telling me that I was foolish to fight it for so long.It reminded me of the kiss.That could be mine I realize.I could have that everyday.Would I live through the experience?Yes that was certain as breathless as it left me it also filled me with life and an electricity that vowed to keep me alive.A passion that desperately wanted out.I wanted nothing more then to tackle him right there.WHAT?!!I could feel my face flushing at the thought.My id was definitely out of control.Hopefully my super ego could talk some sense into it.

"William's asleep." He commented with a smile.How come that came out suggestive?

"Oh." I pleaded innocently.His smile grew and I couldn't help but return the smile.What was I suppose to do?He grabbed me roughly and pulled me to him.My pulse was racing at his obvious answer to my subconscious invitation.What? My invitation? Maybe I needed to see a doctor.He's my partner I tried to reason.Yes he _is_ your partner.Ok that isn't what I meant.He caressed my cheek and kissed my forehead.His obviously innocent gestures made my blood boil.His arm around my waist…I was instantly aware of every point of contact, fingers on face, hip to hip, chest brushing against…I was sinking again and his warm breath tickling the hair on my neck wasn't helping any.

"Don't fight it." He almost begged me.That's when I lost it completely.I threw out the rulebook and started to write a new one.That part of me that had been fighting for this for so long swallowed me and I realized that that part of me was more then I had ever imagined.Every moment we were almost more then friends flashed through my mind.I never realized just how many there were, or that I had been counting for that matter. I had counted every touch, every kiss given and received, every look, and every word.Until he was almost me.I thought when this moment came I'd be scared but with his arm around me I feel safe…I feel complete.That's when I realized what he meant when he said…_the truth we both knew_.


End file.
